John Banrock - Race 5 (The Gaseous Harlequin)

Race 5: The Gaseous Harlequin

It was time to take a break and get some food and I thought some beer would help to lift the mood. I went to get the brews, sent Drew for the chow, hoping he’d return with his frown upside-down. Options weren’t great but the beers were ice cold and when Drew returned I saw he struck gold. I said “son I’ve been losing but you picked another winner.” He bought beef patties for our lunch. Or maybe it was dinner?

We found ourselves a table and I toasted lady luck but Drew didn’t smile ‘cause he was mired in the muck. I told him to cheer up but that just made him mad. Before I said that he had just been kinda sad. He said the track was lame and wished we hadn’t come and bewildered I said “you can’t really mean that son”. He was mad at me but madder a horse died. And when I put my hand on his I saw fire in his eyes. So I tried to tell a joke but that was just a bust and when I said “get over it” he replied with more disgust. I was starting to lose hope ‘cause I was out of lines. I wondered if the track really was a friend of mine.

The miracle finally came when an old man shuffled by. There was a ticket on the ground that must have caught his ancient eyes. It was next to my foot and when he leaned to grab hold he farted so loud it probably shook the whole world! We were shocked and we were frozen stiff. Probably thought we’d die when we caught a foul whiff. It definitely wasn’t silent but thankfully lacked a stench and when he rose he excused himself by asking us to pardon his French.

As the man departed we failed to hold it in. We laughed so hard at the gaseous harlequin. You never know what break will come your way and that was just the thing that came to save our day.

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